Friday, July 31, 2009

When I feel very helpless, I do stupid things _._

8:08 PM

You know when you try to figure out what it is that you want and you just dont? Figure it out? I mean, no matter how simple your mind is. I just cant get it, I mean, I know its not that end of my life but I just cant get rid of the feeling that someone dropped a stone inside my stomach, this feeling makes me wanna cry. I dont believe how melanchy and/or depressed I sound.

I'm trying, trying, trying so hard. I just dont know.
I'm developing bad habits like tea and smoking and I just dont know. And I'm turning into a Simple Plan whore (teqnichally that means I'm addicted to Simple Plan). And some how I just know that this is the decline of the fantasy world of Tiaville.

And Please oh please, someone! anyone! teach me how to properly use photoshop CS3. I just learned how to do that pen thing and I dont know anything else. How much I would like to illustrate but I just dont know how. How much I want some privacy and loud music and a good doze of weed. And maybe just a little passionate attention.
*stops
*slaps herself in the head
*drops dead
Byebye.

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Friday, July 17, 2009

Sleeping with creepy crawlers? Something I'm not very eager about.

8:05 AM

Okay so I got dragged by my family in a trip to a farmhouse. Which has so many trees it could be a personal forest. Which has insects. Like grass hopers and bee's. Secondly its hot in here. I swear I'm gonna go nuts.
I cant stop thinking about how you wanna see a person for one last time. How I wanna hold him and tell him that I'm sorry. How I wanna see beautiful things with him. But I cant. I just cant get over how sad the whole thing is. Boys and exams. And I'm trying to write a manga when my anime drawing talent is near 50 only. And How I cant find an eraser when I need one the most
And There are KIDS in my house who are driving me insane. Prattling on and on about barbies and punching people, repeating every swear word you say, hitting you. Especially not going away when you need privacy. I mean its not like there arent good kids in the world. Just that these kids dont fit in the good catogory.
This little family reunion is gonna make me murder someone. Since every room in the house is full and some have to sleep in MY room. If dad leaves I get some of my privacy back (he leaves for malaysia who knows when, since he always says he's gonna leave because Bangladesh is driving him insane but he never does).... Oh sweet, those little brats broke my glasses... Which reminds me- My oldest aunt brought me a Bratz hanky, and she brought one for every seven year old or below girl in the house.... =.=' What do I look like 5? Why cant anyone get me something usefull, like those Photoshop CS3 extended CD's that are so expansive in bangladesh. I can get one on my own when I leave but its not sometime soon so... yeah I'm stuck. Gotta leave for dinner.
Shutting up.
byebye

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Wednesday, July 15, 2009

I cant download SAI again!

2:38 PM

My trial period of SAI ran out. Now what do I do to modify my ugly drawings into gorgeous illustrations? Phuhhh.

I just had to loose an eraser when I was sitting making the characters of my manga. And everything turns into a mess. I mean really how worse can life get. And I'm writting a manga about boys. Something any 15 year old could come up with. =.=' . Gosh I feel lousy. AND I DONT EVEN HAVE SCHOOL UNTIL OCTOBER! I'm gonna die and rot of boredom.. I just feel kind of deprieved of privacy. These kids think my bathtub is there swimming pool and try to make whirlpools into 'em and spill water EVERYWHERE! How colourful life is. I guess I did that when I was little. I'f I'd have believed in God I'd say I was being punished but right now all I can say is that these kids are nuts and annoying! how many again? 1+1+1+1+1+1+1=7! GODD!

I'm watching Gravitation, and I cant get Yuki Eiri out of my head. And I'm comparing real people to anime now. Pathetic. I need to get anime out of my head I suppose.

Over and out*

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