Wednesday, November 25, 2009

The cycle

1:53 AM

Some people give, some steal and some take and some need, others change and some dont, Some destroy some make, some want power others want money some want bliss and some want strength. now i just have to figure out what i want...

Destinies and honour and all of that. I guess you never realy know what your destiny is. And people are always looking for honour or looking to regain it. Maybe the most important thing is doing the right thing. but what the hell is the right thing in the first place?

Friday, November 13, 2009

2:18 PM

GYAAAAAAAAAAAAI! On friday the 13th i poured water on my computer. TT__T Any other people with bad luck around here? sobsob* Everything inside it dies. the motherboard the RAM. EVERYTHAAAANNGG!!!!
And now I'm using other peoples PC how embarresing! Jeez and you know what ELSE happend. I lost a tendr AND my moms driving me insane because of some darn paper and my dad constantly reminding me what a dissapointment I am! But I gotta admitr this pc is nice... what was it again... aahhh HP pavillion entertainment pc! dv4 series. Jeez i hope dad gets me this one next. AND my cell phone caught cancer.. I mean the display crackd and now its slowly turning black all around. And now im downloading softwares to someone elses computer.. Uhhhh could this get any worse???

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

I'mgoingcrazy O.O

12:23 AM

Today is one of those days when reality hits me squarely in the face. It makes me speech-less and dizzy. It makes me want to cry and it makes me want to smile. It slits my writs and it suffocates me. It makes me go weak at knees. It makes me want to howl at the top of my lungs.
Aaand it makes me want to take relaxants!

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Boooooored.

6:55 PM

Okay so... All these days when I didnt have time for blogspot I did what? I had fun, I studied, hanged out with friends, Illustrated drawings, And what not.
I illustrated this pretty Miwako picture. that made it look even prettier. I guess... Am I being too full of myself?
AND TODAY! I was cooking. I burnt my hand. I can cook but it damages my skin most of the time =.=' .
I did math. After a long long time. And I forgot the formulae of cube root thing.
My custody is changing for the first time in my life. It makes me scared. I mean, new things are new. Eventually they become old. But when CHANGES are new they scare the crap out of me. Changes are not always good you know. They can be bad. And getting my custody shifted to my mother is very...very...bad.
Eventually they might find me on the brink of death. Beaten into a pulp. all bloody. WHO KNOWS WHAT MY HAPPEN! O.O.
Thank gods my dad thought he didnt want a wife. after the third one =.=' .
I think I'm going nuts at my blogs expence. Byebye!

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

When you have everything you could ever want, you become dead inside.

12:51 PM

I mean really, when I was in dhaka, I wanted to go see my mom in karachi, when I was in karachi, all I really wanted was to get out of there as soon as possible, and when I got out of there I listened to my mom over the phone being all sad and miserable, and it made me guilty and sad. Wow I am one confused person!
You know thinking about death every two minits a day realy works (especially if you are a muslim [if you are a bad muslim its all the more terrifying]) on your faith. I swear I'm scared gutless.
And I have to skim through my japanese notebook again =.=' .
I WANT MY ROOM BACK! Oh GAWWD WHEN does dad LEAVE! This is really starting to get to me. I dont know what i miss most. my desk or my bed, but i miss it!!!! I dont believe he came over in MAY and he's still not LEAVING! I mean its not like I dont like having him here I just dont like him stealing my room!
I'm reading Gravitation Ex these days and I have no idea what freaks my cousins off so much. LOL.
And dad wont let me drive. And he wont let me buy myself a bike.
But he DID get me a job.
Lifes a mess.
Who needs a job in the first place?!?
I WANT MY ROOM!

Friday, July 31, 2009

When I feel very helpless, I do stupid things _._

8:08 PM

You know when you try to figure out what it is that you want and you just dont? Figure it out? I mean, no matter how simple your mind is. I just cant get it, I mean, I know its not that end of my life but I just cant get rid of the feeling that someone dropped a stone inside my stomach, this feeling makes me wanna cry. I dont believe how melanchy and/or depressed I sound.

I'm trying, trying, trying so hard. I just dont know.
I'm developing bad habits like tea and smoking and I just dont know. And I'm turning into a Simple Plan whore (teqnichally that means I'm addicted to Simple Plan). And some how I just know that this is the decline of the fantasy world of Tiaville.

And Please oh please, someone! anyone! teach me how to properly use photoshop CS3. I just learned how to do that pen thing and I dont know anything else. How much I would like to illustrate but I just dont know how. How much I want some privacy and loud music and a good doze of weed. And maybe just a little passionate attention.
*stops
*slaps herself in the head
*drops dead
Byebye.

Friday, July 17, 2009

Sleeping with creepy crawlers? Something I'm not very eager about.

8:05 AM

Okay so I got dragged by my family in a trip to a farmhouse. Which has so many trees it could be a personal forest. Which has insects. Like grass hopers and bee's. Secondly its hot in here. I swear I'm gonna go nuts.
I cant stop thinking about how you wanna see a person for one last time. How I wanna hold him and tell him that I'm sorry. How I wanna see beautiful things with him. But I cant. I just cant get over how sad the whole thing is. Boys and exams. And I'm trying to write a manga when my anime drawing talent is near 50 only. And How I cant find an eraser when I need one the most
And There are KIDS in my house who are driving me insane. Prattling on and on about barbies and punching people, repeating every swear word you say, hitting you. Especially not going away when you need privacy. I mean its not like there arent good kids in the world. Just that these kids dont fit in the good catogory.
This little family reunion is gonna make me murder someone. Since every room in the house is full and some have to sleep in MY room. If dad leaves I get some of my privacy back (he leaves for malaysia who knows when, since he always says he's gonna leave because Bangladesh is driving him insane but he never does).... Oh sweet, those little brats broke my glasses... Which reminds me- My oldest aunt brought me a Bratz hanky, and she brought one for every seven year old or below girl in the house.... =.=' What do I look like 5? Why cant anyone get me something usefull, like those Photoshop CS3 extended CD's that are so expansive in bangladesh. I can get one on my own when I leave but its not sometime soon so... yeah I'm stuck. Gotta leave for dinner.
Shutting up.
byebye

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

I cant download SAI again!

2:38 PM

My trial period of SAI ran out. Now what do I do to modify my ugly drawings into gorgeous illustrations? Phuhhh.

I just had to loose an eraser when I was sitting making the characters of my manga. And everything turns into a mess. I mean really how worse can life get. And I'm writting a manga about boys. Something any 15 year old could come up with. =.=' . Gosh I feel lousy. AND I DONT EVEN HAVE SCHOOL UNTIL OCTOBER! I'm gonna die and rot of boredom.. I just feel kind of deprieved of privacy. These kids think my bathtub is there swimming pool and try to make whirlpools into 'em and spill water EVERYWHERE! How colourful life is. I guess I did that when I was little. I'f I'd have believed in God I'd say I was being punished but right now all I can say is that these kids are nuts and annoying! how many again? 1+1+1+1+1+1+1=7! GODD!

I'm watching Gravitation, and I cant get Yuki Eiri out of my head. And I'm comparing real people to anime now. Pathetic. I need to get anime out of my head I suppose.

Over and out*